Here’s everyone’s favourite useless celebrity, Audrina Patridge showing of her new blond highlights. Doesn’t she know in order for her to be blond she has to act like one. It’s a rule, look it up. That entails showing off her tits and ass which she clearly is not doing here. Dumb blond! At least she got that part down…

more pictures of Audrina Patridge here

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Photos: WENN.com

You guys have probably wondered if there’s ever such a thing of a girl pushing her breasts up too much?! And the answer is an obvious NO!! Here’s Jessica Lowndes at the ‘Inglourious Basterds‘ Premiere pushing up her little chestnuts to her chin… and I like it! Sure, it looks a little silly and she’s not fooling anyone, but you got to give her an A for effort and a cup size.

more pictures of Jessica Lowndes here

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Photos: Fame, WENN.com, Bauer-Griffin

“Judge, I was just having fun” when on trial for molestation, rape or sexual harrassment looks like it just won’t work, again. I mean the whole thing is really bullshit, Minnie Mouse has been seducing men for fucking decades and it’s only natural that the second one of us comes in contact with her that we’d go for her cunt, even if Minnie Mouse is just a person dressed like Minnie Mouse and not the actual cartoon character. We’d do the same to pretty much anyone dressed like someone who has been cockteasin’ forever, especially when bitch is in the magic fuckin’ kingdom and if they don’t want us to try to make magic than they should re-work their marketing strategy.

The real joke in all this is that Walt Disney was created by a fuckin’ pedophile, in an era when pedophiles weren’t arrested if they were high profile….they just sort of swept it under the rug…but everyone knew that a man with such a deep rooted interest in little kids was messed the fuck up and not someone they wanted to let their kids visit for private screenings….

I guess what it comes down to is that we’re all perverts and this minimum wage whore is just trying to make some money and get on TV. I can’t wait for someone to actually molest her, rape her or sexually harrass her to teach her a fucking lesson.

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Naomi Campbell was out on a boat with her Russian billionaire real estate entrepreneur/russian mobster, who she is either married to or engaged to because crazy high maintenance cunts like billionaires and russians are the only kind of sadist motherfuckers who can handle crazy high maintenance cunts.

At least that’s what my homie Vladimir used to tell me everytime he got caught up with a crazy escort, because apparently no matter how insane the bitch got, he said they had nothing on the girl’s back home, then he’d beat the fuck out of them.

Not that it matters, what does matter is that Naomi Campbell is hosing down her stinky cunt and I’m not just saying that to be racist, because I love black pussy and dream about it at night, I am saying it because why else would a bitch be hosing down her cunt. I guess maybe it’s to get the salt water out of the shit cuz it’s making the herpes scabs burn, but I prefer thinking she chronically smells like rotting seafood because stinky pussy makes me feel alive, or at least keeps me awake everytime I go down on a bitch, so that I don’t fall asleep in her pussy like some kind of asshole.

So I was looking at the Vanessa Hudgens nude pics and wonder what genetic fuck up happened to make her nipples that big and shiny. So I hit up my expert racist who can spot any fuckin’ ounce of another breed of human so as to stay as far the fuck away from them as possible and this is what she discovered….

Ethnicity: Filipino, Chinese, and Latina (from her mother) and Irish and American Indian (from her father)

That doesn’t seem like a possible mix of human, it’s just too fuckin’ random and dirty and it is more like she was made in a mad scientists lab than some mutt’s uterus….and that mad scientists lab belonged to Disney.

Here are her whore legs….cuz she’s a whore….at least based on her nude pics she released as a publicity stunt and threatened to sue every site.

I don’t watch 90210, because it has to be complete garbage, but I can appreciate the quality of the chicks on it. Here are Shenae Grimes and Jessica Lowndes relaxing on the beach in Malibu in their bikinis. I don’t know much about these girls but they look pretty f@#king good in their little bikinis. Hopefully the show will fail and we’ll see them do whatever it takes to get back in the spotlight. Fingers crossed.

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I guess Kate Moss’ nipples realize that her prime is behind her and it’s all downhill for her as her body slowly gets more cylindrical, her career gets less and less work and the men in her life do less and less heroin, and I guess that depresses them because they’ve lowered their standards in who they hang out with, because everyone knows only someone suicidal would spend their afternoons intentionally with a twat like Lily Allen and that’s all I have to say about that.

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Ow! Any time I’ve got pictures of Kelly Brook playing or at least pretending to play in the surf in her bikini you know it’s going to be a good day. Here she is splashing around and flashing some ass in what seems to be very cold water. Guess how I can tell the water’s cold. I should be a private eye, like Magnum.

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